"I look upon death to be as necessary to the constitution as sleep. We shall rise refreshed in the morning."
~ Benjamin Franklin
On this day, 12 years ago I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer. Although losing him was rough I gained an enlightened prospective of human spirit and its journey. Ever since I have been reading, discussing, searching, and researching stories and evidence of life after death, to my delight I have been successful. Not only had I the wonderful firsthand experience in helping family and friends in making a transition into the spirit world but I have on several occasions (after the count of 10 I let it rest) helped total strangers.
I am often asked how I do all the things I do and why I do what I do? After asking myself these questions I feel I do not have a concrete answer because my human mind still cannot wrap itself around the concept of how immense Spirit is. As I write this journal I am realizing that Spirit cannot be found in a book or its pages because it is so freaking enormous that it cannot be contained. Neither can Spirit be captured in a though because it is faster than lightening (any genuine person who has this experience will vouch for that). The only thing that lingers longer than a thought, sight, dream or book is the “feeling” of a Spirit, good or bad (trust me there are some that still don’t get it, even after death). Why do I do it? Let me share some stories.
This happened five years ago… I kept seeing a man in my house, in the beginning he was lighter and as days and weeks passed by be got stronger and I would see him in my kitchen and sometimes living room. Thinking he is an “impression” or someone “passing” spirit I would simply ignore him and continue to whatever I was doing then. Until one day when he walked right into my bathroom when I was talking to my husband in the most private and intimate spot of my house and stood next to him. This time the man was “solid” and he startled me. Not realizing my husband cannot see him I said aloud “what are you doing here and who the heck are you?” Of course by now my husband was startled to hear me say those words. He looked at me with his usual half- amused-smile (the one I fell in love with the first time I met him) and said, “Well I am your hus….” And I said “not you, him!”. Then I described the man to my husband and he as a matter of fact said “that’s my daddy… is he here?” I had never met my father-in-law when he was alive because he had died of cirrhosis of the liver when my husband was 6 years old. Realizing the next day was his 36th death anniversary (which we had almost forgotten until his assertive appearance in our bathroom that night) my husband got emotional. After that my father-in-law stayed with me for a while as I worked with him to communicate his feelings of regret and love as he asked for forgiveness and healing from each of his family members (had to make several international calls too). My beloved father-in-law taught me the importance of healing the spirit in order to move on to his next spirit journey – something like a 12 steps program (he was an alcoholic) in the spirit world, one of which was him resolving his earthly unfinished business.
This happened two years ago…. I was at the salon getting my hair done and as my stylist, the ever so talented Cole, was multitasking my eyes happened to wonder around. Through the mirror I saw an elderly woman sitting on a chair and next to her was an elderly man. We were discussing relationships and I happened to mention how nice it felt to see an elderly couple hanging out together, even better was to see the man patiently waited for the woman as she got her hair done. Looking at Cole’s expression through the mirror as she froze on me (Cole has always been encouraging and accepting of my gift and has helped me grow in ways I can’t imagine) I went “oh oh”. She leaves me in mid-sentence with my hair clipped up in a comical way and comes back with the elderly lady and says “Caroline, tell her what you just told me” thinking Cole has temporally lost her mind I looked at her embarrassed but she was persistent. So I told the woman what I saw. That poor woman choked and gasped right in front of me and literally broke down in tears and pain. She held to her chest and said, “That’s my husband you’re talking about … I can’t believe it”. For a split second I didn’t know what was happening. I looked over for the elderly man and I didn’t see him (this time directly and not through the mirror). I was then told by Cole that she had lost her husband in a car wreck a week ago. Then the message flowed … he was trying to console his wife and himself trying to make sense of all that has happened within the past week. He explained to her that he didn’t feel much pain when he had a heart attack while driving his car (which I was told later that caused the wreck). He expressed how he feels leaving her with no explanations to all the questions she had. After a few minutes (which felt like forever to me) he encouraged her to attend their grand daughter’s wedding and shared some private feelings before he said goodbye. This incident taught me the power of love and companionship and the importance of saying goodbyes for closure. The husband placed his spirit journey on hold so that he could help his wife begin the grieving process. Both tried to make sense of what happened. Understanding their human journey together has ended and their new separate journey lies ahead they both attempted to say their loving goodbyes in the presence of all those in the salon, including the bride to be.
“Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.”
~ David Searls
Caroline Fernandes is a holistic integrative psychotherapist & a wellness life coach.