As the world celebrates Mother’s Day weekend, I have been pondering how it is that being a mother fulfills me. This question took me back to the days when I carried my children in my womb. I remember journeying along with both my children through the various prenatal transitions. Do I consider pregnancy as where my motherhood began, or as the days following birth? Yesterday, my husband made a statement saying, “so it’s been 17 years for you as a mother.” I instinctively responded, “No, it’s almost 18 years. You forgot to include the 9 months.” Of course, my response was greeted with a puzzled look and no further discussion. His reaction inspired my thinking, and I dwelled upon miscarriages, terminated pregnancies, surrogacies, egg donors, and still births, and my maternal heart overwhelmed with compassion. I felt empathy for myself and for all the women who have experienced or experiencing any one of this.
Maternal mental health is much too overlooked in our modern society. Our culture silently overlooks the cost a mother pays in today’s world, a world in which the overall role of a women has dramatically changed. Imagine women competing for a spot in a male dominated society, trying to create a new life within, and trying to balance careers, relationships, and motherhood. Imagine all the pressure, stress, and anxiety. Adding to this, imagine first-time mothers working hard to understand what it takes to care for a new born, constantly second-guessing and overwhelming themselves. Next, imagine some mothers juggling between several children frequently judging their decisions fearing they would accidentally screw things up as they work hard to maintain balance; making sure the children are fed on time, shuffling through their after school activities, keeping up with their medical appointments, and making sure they are socially and academically thriving.
Mothers are intuitive beings. Their intuition heightens when it comes to their children. Spiritually, it is believed that a mother and child are forever connected by an etheric cord. An etheric cord is like the umbilical cord, which physically connects a child to the mother in utero. However, an etheric cord consists of pure energy. This energy is often invisible to the human eyes, but is seen through the mind’s eye, connecting and holding the bond between a mother and child for eternity. Knowing this gives me solace; it comforts and fulfills my maternal heart; it completes me. This is the answer to my pondering question.
To those mothers who have lost or relinquished a part of themselves, I wish you grace and solace. May you have a blissful day as you silently join the world in celebrating you on Mother’s Day.
Caroline Fernandes is a holistic integrative psychotherapist & a wellness life coach.