As the world celebrates Mother’s Day weekend, I have been pondering how it is that being a mother fulfills me. This question took me back to the days when I carried my children in my womb. I remember journeying along with both my children through the various prenatal transitions. Do I consider pregnancy as where my motherhood began, or as the days following birth? Yesterday, my husband made a statement saying, “so it’s been 17 years for you as a mother.” I instinctively responded, “No, it’s almost 18 years. You forgot to include the 9 months.” Of course, my response was greeted with a puzzled look and no further discussion. His reaction inspired my thinking, and I dwelled upon miscarriages, terminated pregnancies, surrogacies, egg donors, and still births, and my maternal heart overwhelmed with compassion. I felt empathy for myself and for all the women who have experienced or experiencing any one of this.
Maternal mental health is much too overlooked in our modern society. Our culture silently overlooks the cost a mother pays in today’s world, a world in which the overall role of a women has dramatically changed. Imagine women competing for a spot in a male dominated society, trying to create a new life within, and trying to balance careers, relationships, and motherhood. Imagine all the pressure, stress, and anxiety. Adding to this, imagine first-time mothers working hard to understand what it takes to care for a new born, constantly second-guessing and overwhelming themselves. Next, imagine some mothers juggling between several children frequently judging their decisions fearing they would accidentally screw things up as they work hard to maintain balance; making sure the children are fed on time, shuffling through their after school activities, keeping up with their medical appointments, and making sure they are socially and academically thriving.
Mothers are intuitive beings. Their intuition heightens when it comes to their children. Spiritually, it is believed that a mother and child are forever connected by an etheric cord. An etheric cord is like the umbilical cord, which physically connects a child to the mother in utero. However, an etheric cord consists of pure energy. This energy is often invisible to the human eyes, but is seen through the mind’s eye, connecting and holding the bond between a mother and child for eternity. Knowing this gives me solace; it comforts and fulfills my maternal heart; it completes me. This is the answer to my pondering question.
To those mothers who have lost or relinquished a part of themselves, I wish you grace and solace. May you have a blissful day as you silently join the world in celebrating you on Mother’s Day.
Every once in a while, I do a personal major psychic tune-up. ‘Psychic tune-up’ for me means spending a day or a half a day in intentional intense meditative state of mind. I may use crystals, angel cards, music, incense, writing and/or drawing, which ever calls out to me when in trance. I sit with my existing issues, I reflect on my though patterns and behavior. I stay with the gunk that needs to be released. I question the universe, it’s intent. I argue, I make peace and I release. Making peace with self is the best part. It is then when I’m able to clearly see through various dimensions, breath in crystal clear energies, feel invincible almost immortal – remember the Spirit lives on – and present in my current time and space. Psychic tune-up strengthens the grounding and heightens the intuition.
Being an intuitive and practicing as a professional intuitive is a huge responsibility. Being an empath has its own weight to bare, at times it sucks (please keep away for the News!). Imagine adding extra sensory perception of smell, vision, audio, dreams, touch and taste. Which maybe uncommon to most people but to an individual who feels a load of empathy beyond normal emotional regulation this can be a hot mess. However, there is hope. Now imagine getting guidance on how to use your inborn talents in a healthy manner or your so called ‘uncanny not so common gifts’ to help you navigate through life. Imaging having someone you can trust, some who can hold your hand as you walk the path of this lifetime trying to make sense of your reality. Solving the puzzle called life. Wouldn’t that be wonderful?
For me, teaching myself to recognize my special needs and learning from those who have walked their path before me has been a huge blessing. Today I understand myself better. I have compassion for my shadow. Overall, I’ve learned to cultivated courage to sit with my shit. I’ve also learned to be comfortable to stretch myself beyond my limitations. For my wellbeing I regularly consult with peers when needed. Moreover, I continue to educate myself on impacts of spirituality on one’s psyche and body. And as it often happens I’m humbled and in awe of our Universal and all the untapped mysteries she holds. My heart overwhelms with gratitude as I experience and witness how a tiny particle like me can make a difference. I encourage each one of you to feel the awesomeness within you as you connect to our Universe’s awesome mysteries.
So, my friends when was the last time you intentionally took some time off for a Psychic tune-up? How did that go for you? What did you learn about yourself?
It’s been a while? Go ahead… Give yourself permission to pause.
#metoo moment has kindled a fire in us. The social media is ablaze with rage fanning emotions of frustration and hatred from both sides, including those who are blessed with no such scars. Imagine what happens to those who are reliving their horrors. Imagine all those suppressed subconscious memories being released and the abused are now facing new unprocessed narratives. Suddenly all the nightmares begin to re-materialize. The monsters and the battles come alive. They can no longer be chalked aside as mysterious metaphysical beings but realistic reminders of mortal trauma.
“It took me 20 years to share my #metoo narrative with my mother. I remember telling her as she was holding my then week-old daughter in her arms. Struck by the three generations of the divine feminine and still flooding with maternal hormones, I then made the firm decision to be bold by having a heart to heart with my mother. I so wanted to protect my baby girl from the cruel unsafe world. Still filled with shame and fear I made myself vulnerable to my mother as I disclosed one of my deep dark hidden secrets. As I shared my narrative I felt thirteen again. Away flew my composure and matured dignity. I felt raw and exposed sitting before my mother sharing a piece of my past. I heard my words echo. My heart throbbing like a distant drum beating a familiar rhythm. My uncontrollable sobs drowning my thoughts. Heavy and burdened by the past I sank into the chair. Through the renewed grief filled echoes I heard “there is nothing I can do about this. You should have told me then.” As her words sank in I felt betrayed. I was distraught.”
So very often we miss the signs of our loved ones in pain. In Jessica’s case (name changed with permission to maintain confidentiality), those around her seemed oblivious to most of the signs she exhibited. Her nonverbal signs that were vital red flags screaming “Help me, save me” were overlooked. Jessica was a victim of repeated child molestation and physical abuse in a joint family system. Growing up her silent cries for help were brushed aside by labels of “moody” and “problematic” child. How does one recognize a child’s silent cry you may ask. According to various medical professionals and law enforcement there are three types of child abuse; physical, sexual and emotional. Physical abuse is mostly visible in the form of bruises or cuts. There are also those where a child can be placed in harm’s way such as throwing objects at a child or holding a child under water. Sexual abuse not only includes physical contact but also exposures to sexual content like sexting, flashing genitals or telling dirty jokes. Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior which directly includes ignoring, shaming, yelling, criticizing including witnessing such behaviors.
Focusing on the #metoo movement, let’s talk about subtle and obvious signs of sexual abuse that parents and caregivers should pay attention to. Most common symptoms are social avoidance, depressive mood or mood swings, sudden change in behavior or eating habits, increase in headaches and stomachaches, isolation, lack of general interest, drop in grades, poor hygiene, sudden change in body weight, excessive sleeping including suicide ideation.
Often an abuser is known to the victim. An abuser may use psychological weapons as verbal abuse such as criticism, direct or indirect death threats, shaming and/or religion. An abuser may also use physical abuse such as punishment rationing food. I understand this can be scary. Being vigilant and asking the right questions can empower your child. Be mindful of your own emotions prior to addressing your concerns with your child. Remember traumatic experiences equal active distress. Be gentle. Listen. Get professional help when needed. Keep children safe. Stop child sexual abuse. Help your child grow into a healthy successful adult.
Valentine’s Day is soon approaching, and some of us are secretly wishing for a surprise from a loved one or desiring that someone could love them. Love is a complex emotion. It can be full of fuzzy exciting feelings, and yet have a shadow of deep obsessive yearning. Nevertheless, Valentine’s Day stirs up complexity and can be confusing for young adults. Our culture bombards us with a narrative of what an “ideal” Valentine’s Day should look like. Hardly does anyone talk about what it is like for those experiencing heartbreak or those who are protective of their hearts in fear of rejection or broken trust.
Wouldn’t it be nice for us to celebrate Valentine’s day by loving ourselves first? How about giving ourselves roses, a box of delicious chocolate, booking a spa day, or gifting a bottle of sweet and delightful wine? Celebrating and loving ourselves for who we are, then expanding that love to celebrate those who mean much to us, would enhance love immensely. It will also help us to reach out to those who don’t have a Valentine to celebrate the day with.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to teach our children the value of selflove and how to expand their hearts to others? Being a mom of two teenagers, I often talk to them about the importance of self-worth and how loving themselves unconditionally allows them to open their hearts to receiving love. We need to start early with our children by creating positive emotions, as this lays a foundation for further relationships. Teaching our daughters to love themselves, and doing so through example, will help them grow into confident women that will always have a part reserved in their hearts for themselves. Teaching our sons to love themselves, also by example, will help them grow into passionate men: emotionally fulfilled and sharing of their love with their partners and children alike.
[Someone calls out my name; it comes from the back door. “Please let me in! I want to come in!” I think it's Dewey, my dog, and I am astonished. "Wow, my dog can talk! " I open the door and there is no one outside. In a couple of seconds, I realize it was not human, but a spirit. I briefly panic, but then I begin to pray. I call in the big guns: Jesus, Archangel Michael, and others. I transform into my spiritual defense mode and begin clearing the house. I decide to offer reiki to all those present inside the house.]
This is a part of a dream I had previously encountered a couple of months back. Although the dream was brief during the dream state, it felt intense and complex to me. I am a vivid dreamer, so I keep a dream journal by my bedside so I may document my journey. Maintaining a dream journal helps me to understand my complex subconscious and connects me to the spirit world. My dreams open pathways to healing. I journal my dreams, as they give me innate wisdom and help me maintain my sanity while confirming its truth in days to follow. Such was the case with this dream.
Last year I was on a personal journey to connect more to my physical body and ground myself to Mother Earth. Several things I did was eat healthy, join a fitness program and continue to explore my spiritual and inner most thoughts. In the process I released 20 lbs I was holding on to since my first child was born, he is 16 now. It happened at home when I was immersed in a brief meditative yoga routine, to be precise when I was doing the Parivrtta Anjaneyasana yoga pose. I heard the same voice I heard in my dream the previous night “please let me in” “I want to come in”. I froze the voice startled me. I felt myself being pulled back into my dream. I mindfully stayed connected to my yoga pose grounding myself to my present. Then I heard it again “Please let me in” “I want to come in” “pleaseeeeeee….” As twisted as the yoga pose was at that very moment my laughter took me by surprise. The voice I was hearing and the voice in my dream were familiar.... it was my voice!! I was speechless as I realized it was me all this while pleading myself to allow me in. I was working on connecting and grounding myself wasn't I? How the heck did I miss this? My rational mind constantly being in an overdrive mode almost let this slip by. In my sleep my subconscious had allowed my higher self to connect. During meditative yoga I was open to receiving and I reconnected. How powerful is that?!
Parivrtta anjaneyasana is believed to activate the third eye / sixth chakra. The third eye / sixth chakra is the body's intuitive connection, an energy source and vitality center, providing confidence, internal strength and courage. Activating the third eye/ sixth chakra through this yoga pose is believed to dispel fear and insecurity.
Positive affirmations relating to the third eye / sixth chakra that helps me stay grounded and connected.
2017 has been a year of challenges for many. People have lost loved ones. Society seems to have abandoned us. Culture appears aggressive and shameless. Yes, loads of negativity unleashed, so to speak and some will vouch for it. My life as I knew it has changed forever too. I lost loved ones. I lost the old me. You see midway during this year I realized how my fears and anxiety were holding me back. My resistance to changes was pulling me into a vortex of the 2017 negativity most were experiencing/talking about. During meditation when I consciously allowed myself to make the connection to this amazing year of changes, I began challenging my old narrative, the old belief system I had long outgrown. Today I not only feel positive about the future, I am presently manifesting what I had in the past perceived to be my future. You see I took the raging bull by its horn and stared into it's eyes and said, “lets do this together”. I went with the flow. I stayed grounded and connected to my intuition. I expanded myself with self-love and compassion. I extended my circle of positivism with new friendships and healthy relationships. I integrated old traditions with new knowledge. Most importantly I accepted myself!
Giving myself permission to let go and to be my core authentic self helps me process my life’s journey and appreciate the lessons that came along with it. Now that I feel I’m enlightened will I be making mistakes in 2018? Sure, I will. After all, I am Spirit experiencing a human life. That’s what I signed up for in this lifetime.
What about you? How do you perceive your 2018 to be?
I wish you courage to grab the bull by its horn as you learn to BE your true authentic self.
Leiden, a picturesque quiet town in Netherlands is surrounded by century old bridges that interconnect the entire town and international universities. Leiden is perfect for families and solo travelers. Everyone has something to discover. It’s a paradise for foodies, organic produce, fashionistas, photographers, scholars, night clubbers, artists and trippers (Marijuana is legal you’all – inserting Southern drawl country singer style). Besides the air being crispy clean and friendly chatter on the streets one can easily get lost with the familiarity of the canals, brick bridges and the brick paved streets. Yes, I’m not kidding!! Leiden is one of the oldest towns in the Netherlands where people walk and ride bicycles. Once you get off the train station all you do is walk and if you dare – rent a bicycle. However, BEWARE as a tourist your bike riding skills should be compatible with the locals – no kidding – you will get bumped, shoved, run over and you will fall - while the locals will continue with a polite head nod – I swear this happened to my friend!
What did I do in Leiden? Great question, I walked like my feet were possessed. There was no stopping them. My mind yelled exhaustion but my feet kept moving as if it had a life of its own. Mind you, I had prepared for this trip by joining the gym one month prior to my trip. I walked the treadmill each day so that I could be able to carry my own weight along with the 35 lbs weight of my travel bag – yes in Leiden one carries their own luggage to their destination especially if one lives within the rustic town, in my case it was so – De Volharding (inserting content grin – like a cat drinking milk and licking its creamy lips). You think I’m exaggerating? Heck no! Living in the United States has taught me one thing – driving a car to each destination can augment hips and thighs and I’m not talking sultry Beyoncé curves here (inserting guilty face – like caught with my hand in a cookie jar).
Well during one of my possessed walks from an international counseling conference to my apartment in the hot European summer afternoon sun – did I mention dressed in business attire with high heels looking chic and nerdy - confidently walking towards my destination during the lunch break where I had to encourage my peer, who was nursing a migraine, to join the conference, which was the main purpose of the trip to the Netherlands.? Also, that I have to cover up 3 miles each way walking on the ancient paved bricks? BTW, I was rocking it, until my scarf came off, then my jacket, then the buttons of my shirt (now now let’ keep this PG 13), then off came my high heels. By the way, maintaining a positive attitude while walking barefoot on a hot pavement needs skills – which I’m trained for as a mindfulness wellness coach. Anyways, I’ve been in Leiden for a week now right? I got this. By one week I feel like a local.
When I begin to see trees, lots of huge trees I realized my tourist ego had played a trick on me. Unaware I walked over 3 miles and I had reached a park located on the outskirts of the town. Being a tech savvy gal I immediately reached into my pocket for my cell phone – only to discover my cell phone was on my bed in my apartment (inserting palm on my face with “WTF” expression). Scanning my smartwatch – the smartwatch that wasn’t so smart due to lack of international data plan - indicated I had 30 minutes to get back to the conference. Several attempts communicating with locals failed due to language barrier. Fighting tears of helplessness and mentally arguing with the immature part of my ego I reluctantly approached a woman with a stroller – or was that my inner child reaching out to a mother? Fighting back my tears I acknowledged “I’m lost and I need direction. Please help!” Overtly expressing myself was a huge sense of relief. My tears instantly dried as I was greeted by an English speaking Crystal with a welcoming smile and an accent. Crystal, a mother of an infant was on her afternoon walk gently rocking her daughter to sleep in her stroller. Crystal assured me that getting lost in Leiden is ‘a thing’ even for the locals. The familiarity and the monotonous pattern of the town have a meditative impact on the soul. One can easily lose track of time and purpose. Being a resident for 6 years had still not trained Crystal’s neuropathways and she too occasionally gets lost in Leiden. Instead of being defeated by the ancient hypnotic paths she decided to create a documentary detailing each street and corners of the old historical town. Lucky me, my wrong path brought me to Crystal, who unaware enlightened me that defeat is not an option, it’s only a state of mind.
She then graciously walked me towards a bridge… a bridge that unbelievably crossed over directly to my apartment. You see all this while I was walking parallel to my designated path unaware, when I lost confidence and was led by my ego I lost track of self. It took me Crystal, a stranger who was my guide when I was lost, to help me reach my destination. All I had to do was ask … and I received a lesson of a lifetime. Little things mean a lot!
At that moment I was in awe of the raw beauty of Leiden and the Universe! With mindful awareness I allowed my inner child to cross one of those amazing century old bridges to get home.
Hiding in pain, fighting back my tears
Repeating terror, uncertainty, dread
Such over powering emotions, difficult to suppress.
Will I be next? Will you be next? Will they be next?
My heart grieves until darkness spreads
My mind, my body, my soul, compromised and depressed.
Harden by the wails, screams, and sorrow.
Doubtful of the days beyond tomorrow.
Will I be next? Will you be next? Will they be next?
Oh such pain, grief and sorrow!
Humanity in distress.
Rising in hope, conveying tears of joy.
Radiating love, compassion, assurance.
Such overwhelming emotions, unconditional, graceful overtly expressed.
I will be next, you will be next, they will be next.
My heart rejoices as light spreads.
My mind, my body, my spirit, in union with the Divine, balanced.
Strengthened by humility, gratitude, faith.
Hopeful of the days beyond tomorrow.
I will be next, you will be next, they will be next .
Oh such joy, peace and confidence!
Humanity in Faith.
April is a special month for me and I’ve learned to celebrate it with a zest. It is this month years ago, that I married my life mate and it also happens to be the month of my birth. As maturity kicked in and gray hair began to pop, I’ve learned to connect my birth month to new beginnings and the resurrection. And so, it is this month that I consciously take the time to evaluate and appreciate things in my life such as family, friends, incidents, fears, strengths, mistakes etc. It is this month that I secretly send out love and positive vibes to individuals who have helped me, knowingly or not, to grow and reflect ‘within’ by compelling me to face the good and the ugly stuff.
Years ago I made a journey to a new land, with one suitcase, a ticket, a heavy heart and anxiety of an unknown future. By leaving the comfort of my family, who then were my default – “my go to peeps” .. I survived. Life can throw several curve balls at times (especially when one is not prepared) but accepting it instead of fighting, will only enhance one’s chances to make peace of what we had/have let go. Today I have my ‘new go to peeps’ – mwah.. you know who you are J
Is it true, the older we grow the wiser we get? Or is it the older we grow the lesser is our need to please, control and conquer? One of the best things I’ve ever done for myself is to continue to learn, because now I know my growth is concrete, my dreams are greater, and my passion, stronger. So, here I am writing my ‘thank you’ note and secretly sending love and positive vibes to all of you who made a difference in my life. I'm glad I took the journey, if not we never would have met.
Recently a fine young teenager got our community together; he gave our hearts a chance to beat as one. Regrettably, it was after his heart stopped beating. Although, I regularly chat with spirits and understand their dynamics, as shown to me, I sometimes want to yell, scream and give God the ‘dirty’ look, and yes this week I did exactly that.
Deciding to argue with God I walked up to the pearly gates but refused to enter. My plan was to demand to put an end to all the craziness on earth. Then in a strange way I understood that being in spirit is peaceful, however being human is challenging. Especially being a human in this age and time where we all are constantly busy doing, achieving, and moving towards goals we create. While forgetting where we come from. Moreover, we also forget the reasons why we had the goals set in the first place.
Realizing this, today I decided to scratch off my ‘to do list’ and lingered longer in bed, cuddled with my family which included Dewey our family pet. Additionally, for a few hours I shut down the Wi-Fi and the TV so that we heard only our voices instead of the background noise, sharing our warmth and love.
Then I heard it… “Dear God, may I please have another chance? Startled I looked around. …. the voices got stronger and louder … there were people around me and I realized they were all praying. If you are like me who sees both the sides, the dearly departed and the ones alive, you may begin to wonder why the heck we are not given another chance when needed. For a moment I got caught up in this thought but I was instantly ‘shown’ how often I was given ‘another’ chance, which led to ‘another’ and ‘another’ and ‘another’. Throwing my hands up in the air I joined the rest in prayers, “I get it, thanks for all those chances … but for now can I please have another? I’m afraid I may have wasted the last one.” And so I was given, yet ‘another’ chance.
It amazes me how often we get ‘another’ chances and how seldom we make it right. Therefore, I’ve decided to stop wasting my time getting caught up in someone else’s ‘chances’ and focus on mine. Recognizing, if I don’t keep a track on what is mine this whole thing can get overwhelming and confusing, so I'm willing to make a change. I guess being human has its drawbacks, I can’t comprehend this whole thing called ‘life’. What do I do with this ‘another’ chance I’ve been given? I’m gonna work on harmonizing my family’s heart to beat as one… to feel loved, cared and safe in this beautiful thing, which I’m trying to comprehend, called ‘life’. Hoping that when the time comes I find peace… at least I'll know I tried.
As for the teenager who got me thinking….. Thank you, you’ve made your point.
Depression however minor it may be is a serious issue to mankind. It is very important to have the right support system when an individual is depressing. Family and friends can help by sharing the responsibilities by reaching out when an individual is going through a rough phase. Noticing the symptoms and reaching out in whatever way possible would truly benefit the individual struggling with his/her emotions. In addition, the individual should be honest to notice and admit that he/she has a tendency to depress and take positive steps towards self-help. One of the major step that can be taken is balancing Mind-Body-Spirit and in extreme/clinical cases medical help in combination to Complementary and Alternative Medicine such as Reiki, meditation,
Robin Williams made many people laugh and he will continue to do so. Two days ago I saw Robin Williams on TV and I did a double take as I felt something was amiss… today listening to the news breaks my heart… could I have saved him? How is it that people around him did not notice his cry for help? What precautions could he have taken not to succumb to his depression? These questions are difficult to answer…
Today, let us make a conscious decision to reach out to those whom we feel/think needs a double take… listening to your intuition will be a gift for those battling with depression. Reach out in whatever way you can…. Knowing that you at least tried will be a peaceful blessing for your soul.
Link for basic information on symptoms of depression:
Link for holistic/alternative remedies for depression (WebMD, 2014)
"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
This week I have been working on understanding why some people dislike when others overtly show happiness or smile a little extra. Imagine when one is having a “feel good party” mentally singing to some “feel good” songs and forgets that people around don’t “feel that good”. Yes, this happened to me. I was bluntly asked “why do you always smile?” “I don’t understand why you do that. It makes me mad”. CRACK shattered my mental record player and I paused to think – fight or flight. I decided to fight, by this I mean I went into a brief explanation of “I feel good today after a rough week dealing with my back pain… I’m glad I am pain free for now”.
As far as I can remember I have been known for my smiley face. People at times tell me my smile changes the way they feel about themselves (by this I mean positive J ). Why do I smile so much? I smile when I am genuinely happy, when I overcome a difficult situation and sometimes I smile because someone needs it. Do I smile all the time? Heck no. If I did smile all the time then I would be either smoking pot (to escape reality) or living in the “Loony Toon world” (I wished I had, sometimes this world gets too mean and/or too serious for me).
Discovering there are some who are bothered by my smile, I don’t know if I am offended or sad. Ever since, I have been wondering whether I should smile less knowing how some feel about it and I keep coming to the conclusion - How can I? Since I truly believe the Universe has given me the ability to smile for a purpose beyond my knowledge, in addition to many a times taking away my chronic back pain, reducing my stress level, and helping me win my mental battles – There’s MAGIC in my SMILE J and I am grateful I have one.
I know I like to “smile”. How about you? Have you ever wondered what does a ‘Smile’ mean to you? What does a “Smile” do for you? If you don’t have an answer check the links below maybe this could help you think.
As for me, for the past 8 years my SKYPE status has been “Always Smiling”
- I have no intentions to change it!
Baker, J (2014). What Does Your Smile Say About You? WebMD.
Body Language: What’s Really Behind a Smile? (2014)
10 Hidden Benefits of Smiling (2014) PSYBLOG: Understand your mind
"I look upon death to be as necessary to the constitution as sleep. We shall rise refreshed in the morning."
~ Benjamin Franklin
On this day, 12 years ago I lost my dad to pancreatic cancer. Although losing him was rough I gained an enlightened prospective of human spirit and its journey. Ever since I have been reading, discussing, searching, and researching stories and evidence of life after death, to my delight I have been successful. Not only had I the wonderful firsthand experience in helping family and friends in making a transition into the spirit world but I have on several occasions (after the count of 10 I let it rest) helped total strangers.
I am often asked how I do all the things I do and why I do what I do? After asking myself these questions I feel I do not have a concrete answer because my human mind still cannot wrap itself around the concept of how immense Spirit is. As I write this journal I am realizing that Spirit cannot be found in a book or its pages because it is so freaking enormous that it cannot be contained. Neither can Spirit be captured in a though because it is faster than lightening (any genuine person who has this experience will vouch for that). The only thing that lingers longer than a thought, sight, dream or book is the “feeling” of a Spirit, good or bad (trust me there are some that still don’t get it, even after death). Why do I do it? Let me share some stories.
This happened five years ago… I kept seeing a man in my house, in the beginning he was lighter and as days and weeks passed by be got stronger and I would see him in my kitchen and sometimes living room. Thinking he is an “impression” or someone “passing” spirit I would simply ignore him and continue to whatever I was doing then. Until one day when he walked right into my bathroom when I was talking to my husband in the most private and intimate spot of my house and stood next to him. This time the man was “solid” and he startled me. Not realizing my husband cannot see him I said aloud “what are you doing here and who the heck are you?” Of course by now my husband was startled to hear me say those words. He looked at me with his usual half- amused-smile (the one I fell in love with the first time I met him) and said, “Well I am your hus….” And I said “not you, him!”. Then I described the man to my husband and he as a matter of fact said “that’s my daddy… is he here?” I had never met my father-in-law when he was alive because he had died of cirrhosis of the liver when my husband was 6 years old. Realizing the next day was his 36th death anniversary (which we had almost forgotten until his assertive appearance in our bathroom that night) my husband got emotional. After that my father-in-law stayed with me for a while as I worked with him to communicate his feelings of regret and love as he asked for forgiveness and healing from each of his family members (had to make several international calls too). My beloved father-in-law taught me the importance of healing the spirit in order to move on to his next spirit journey – something like a 12 steps program (he was an alcoholic) in the spirit world, one of which was him resolving his earthly unfinished business.
This happened two years ago…. I was at the salon getting my hair done and as my stylist, the ever so talented Cole, was multitasking my eyes happened to wonder around. Through the mirror I saw an elderly woman sitting on a chair and next to her was an elderly man. We were discussing relationships and I happened to mention how nice it felt to see an elderly couple hanging out together, even better was to see the man patiently waited for the woman as she got her hair done. Looking at Cole’s expression through the mirror as she froze on me (Cole has always been encouraging and accepting of my gift and has helped me grow in ways I can’t imagine) I went “oh oh”. She leaves me in mid-sentence with my hair clipped up in a comical way and comes back with the elderly lady and says “Caroline, tell her what you just told me” thinking Cole has temporally lost her mind I looked at her embarrassed but she was persistent. So I told the woman what I saw. That poor woman choked and gasped right in front of me and literally broke down in tears and pain. She held to her chest and said, “That’s my husband you’re talking about … I can’t believe it”. For a split second I didn’t know what was happening. I looked over for the elderly man and I didn’t see him (this time directly and not through the mirror). I was then told by Cole that she had lost her husband in a car wreck a week ago. Then the message flowed … he was trying to console his wife and himself trying to make sense of all that has happened within the past week. He explained to her that he didn’t feel much pain when he had a heart attack while driving his car (which I was told later that caused the wreck). He expressed how he feels leaving her with no explanations to all the questions she had. After a few minutes (which felt like forever to me) he encouraged her to attend their grand daughter’s wedding and shared some private feelings before he said goodbye. This incident taught me the power of love and companionship and the importance of saying goodbyes for closure. The husband placed his spirit journey on hold so that he could help his wife begin the grieving process. Both tried to make sense of what happened. Understanding their human journey together has ended and their new separate journey lies ahead they both attempted to say their loving goodbyes in the presence of all those in the salon, including the bride to be.
“Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.”
~ David Searls
Hot cup of coffee, open windows, cool October breeze; Dewey, my identity confused dog who thinks he is a human most of the time, sitting on a chair next to me, children lazing in bed …what a beautiful morning. Fresh with a clear morning mind and brilliant concepts I sit with my laptop intending to begin another research. Then it begins, clicking on one link, then another and another and another…. Suddenly I realize “oh geez my research...where was I?” Nada! Nothing! Zero!
After a couple of deep clearing breathes and composing myself I did a brief synopsis of my disappointing time wasting moments. Then did I realized, I did learn about Jennifer Garner’s proud confession of having a ‘baby bump’ after giving birth to three kids (discussing body image), Johnny Depp talking about being an introvert (personality types), watching a video on “A breakthrough in social and emotional learning” (emotional needs) and some FB catching up (social interest) I actually did part of my research! Now I have a new thesis!
“Lifestyles of personality types and the impact of emotional and social interest on physical and mental wellbeing.”
What I have learned with this experience is the power of “Intention”. I started with an intention for a research and unconsciously ended up completing what I initially set out to do. Imagine how deep and mysteriously our mind works and the brain that constantly keeps up to our inner thoughts and expectations. Imagine how beneficial all this can be if we consciously apply our thought process towards achieving something positive, creative and fulfilling. If well applied we will not only be able to achieve our individual goals but in fact be able to reach out to others in our community and help them set their goals too.
Edutopia (2014). A Breakthrough in Social and Emotional Learning. http://www.edutopia.org/louisville-sel-video
Last week I was having a rough time with an individual who I felt interrupted my peaceful mind. I was irritated and annoyed that I let someone come into my space and intrude my peace. This state of my mind disrupted my daily routine and I turned cranky which further turned into a negative ‘anti me’ though. When I shared this with my good friend she tried to help me get out of this funk. She explained how I should not let the external world get to me and the inner peace I so cherish. I did my breathing exercises to let go of the negative energy, I cleared my chakras, I even meditated over the experience I had. Still I had struggles setting myself completely free. I was stunned how dense I felt with this unhealthy emotion. Since I wasn’t freely releasing I began to develop a migraine. That’s when it came to me … I lovingly sat down and wrote a letter to the individual who was the cause of my discomfort.
Dear John… (I’ll call him John for now) During the process of writing my letter I was able to express my feelings directly to him. As I explained how he made me feel I began to realize why I felt the way I did. By now I was answering my own questions. Writing a letter not only opened various hidden emotions but it released the control I had given John over me. By the time I reached the third paragraph I began to hum and smile. Later when I reflected upon the “situation” that had forced me to forget myself, I felt free!! Writing down my expression helped me to forgive and I began to let go…
It is such a empowering feeling to regain the reins of your life, your thoughts and your feelings... however trivial it may be… to decide when, where and how you can take charge and let those who do not serve your purpose or your highest good out of your system, aura, energy field, etc.
What I experienced is a common theme with many. What one creates of the experience endured is the only thing that matters. One can easily get consumed with anger, pain and frustration especially when things appear to be out of order or when controlled by someone else. Next time you experience something uncomfortable, take the time to explore it... write it down in a journal or write a letter. Express yourself… stand up for yourself… make yourself important… make your light shine brighter… be the positive you!
What did I do with the letter I wrote to John? I gently folded the letter and placed it in my “release box” to be burned on the next full moon bonfire!
Remembering 9/11 brings a flood of memories. Thirteen years ago social unfairness, injustice, cruelty, terror seemed to have been reborn. Humanity was brought to a standstill. Panic in the hearts of those who cared and joy in the hearts that didn’t, seem like the norm then. One thing that never changed was LOVE even to those who used it for a wrong purpose by being bias to their ideology. Over immense pain and fear we all learned to believe again. Our hearts cared and trusted once again. May the holiness in our spirit feel up our hearts and thoughts and never give up on humanity.
To all those who have lost someone on 9/11/01 and to those who lost someone after, in trying to make it right – I salute you and embrace you with all the LOVE my spirit can hold.
“So powerful is the light of unity that it can illuminate the whole earth.”
Yes! It is okay to get mad with God, The Universe, the Source, Goddess whatever we believe in. I tried getting a precise definition to describe God to my readers as I see, believe, feel but was unsuccessful. I believe faith, love, compassion, belief cannot be a clear cut definition, to do so will be limiting the very core of humanity. We cannot be put in a box... to do so is creating a disconnect to spirituality. Last week on my way to work I proposed a question to the Universe "In spite of people believing in you why do you let them down?" Well I had no response... until later that day when I had a client tell me that she was mad with God. The following is what I got...
It is okay to get mad with God. Yell, scream, vent, blame, question, tell God off.... that's what God is for. Let God know how your life is messed up... take time off from God ... but DO NOT unplug yourself from God.... because ... God has created you. God is who you are. God is what makes you human. God keeps you powered. God keeps you alive. God is always with you. God walks with you. God always has your back. God lives in you. Disconnecting from God is unplugging yourself from you!! Now, knowing this what are you to do? sit silently... breathe... listen... receive... accept.... follow... lead... connect.... GOD IS YOU!
Sitting by the window,
Gazing down the horizon,
Staring at the falling leaves,
The smell of moist November rain,
Looking over my shoulders,
Sniffing the uncertain air,
Tensed and stiff.
Glancing towards my buddy,
Trying hard to avoid eye contact,
Fearing he might sense,
My inner most dread.
Fighting back awareness,
Trying hard to blend,
Amongst the falling leaves,
In the moist November rain.
Holding unto my breath,
Struggling not to breathe,
Afraid my breath might show,
In the moist November rain.
Squeezing my eyes shut,
Listening to moaning sounds,
Holding back my tears,
Feeling the hot air,
Inhaling crisp burnt smell,
Shower of warm crimson spray,
I feel the returning dread.
Lying next to me,
With a blank stare
Amongst the falling leaves,
My buddy, my mate, my comrade.
In the cold November rain,
Memories of a Fallen Comrade - Caroline Fernandes © September 26, 2013
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a serious mental health issue!!! Holistic Healing, such as Reiki, Meditation, chakra clearing/balancing can benefit those who suffer from this silent disorder.
The word ‘Forgiveness’ either makes us nervously hold our breath, or totally ignore it’s importance, meaning we do not want to deal with it at the moment. At times, we do not know what needs forgiving. Do we forgive those who have hurt us? Do we forgive those who did not help us during our hour of need? I had a client once tell me that she cannot forgive because she cannot forget what others have done to her. My reply was, “then you need to forgive yourself for harboring such feelings”.
Forgiveness is letting go of what does not serve us right. Forgiveness is to GIVE without asking in return. Experience has taught me that to ‘forgive’ does not mean to ‘forget’, but to ‘forgive’ the feeling that is attached to the event/memory we want to ‘forget’. Does this sound complicated? In fact it is complicated when seen through the eyes of one who is not ready to ‘forgive’.
According to Mayo Clinic (2013), the benefits of forgiving are:
· Healthier relationships
· Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
· Less anxiety, stress and hostility
· Lower blood pressure
· Fewer symptoms of depression
· Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse
Nature has a beautiful way of reminding us to let go… every Fall/Autumn she reminds us to shed away all that no longer serves our purpose. Let us take a moment and tune in to Nature, listen to her pulse, and follow her rhythm to better improve our Mind, Body, and Spirit. LET GO…
Mayo Clinic (2013). Forgiviness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness.
We humans are burdened with unresolved memories, issues, emotions etc., from previous lifetimes, childhood and adulthood experiences. We have trained ourselves to ‘look the other way’; ‘act like a big girl’; ‘be a man’. By doing this, little do we realize we delay our lessons, our spiritual growth, and our accomplishments. As humans have moved towards a civilized, modern generation, we have blocked our ‘receiving' connection. What good is a one way connection if we cannot hear the other side?
When was the last time you connected and opened up to both the sides? When was the last time you ‘gave’ and waited for a response? When was the last time you received? During my healing sessions, I constantly come across individuals with a one way connection. I see the burdens they carry manifest into physical ailments. I see emotional blockages turn into mental turmoil.
Today, take a moment and ask yourself, “Am I open to receiving?” Be honest with your answer. Write down the reasons you have for a one way connection. After your done
writing, connect with the intention to open up to both sides. Give yourself a chance to ‘receive'!
“We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think.
When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”
However grim this process sounds, inevitability all of us have to experience it. Making peace with the thought of death, and accepting life as a journey from birth until death, will make Living
worth. I remember as a child, when my mother tugged me along to a funeral, I mostly got in trouble because I would either giggle or talk during the viewing. Yes, I did get a pinch or two, after getting the “big eyes” from my mom. Now, we laugh about it because she finally understands that I observed not only the living, but also the departed. Later as a teenager I did not care for death, but that all changed after having children. Suddenly, the simple thought of death would send me into anxiety and panic attacks, which I rationalized with motherhood.
Finally, the day I was attuned with Reiki, I was made aware by my spiritual teacher that my anxiety was due to unfinished business. As time passed by, I understood the concept of the process of dying and death. Through self-awareness, acceptance, and mindfulness, I am now able to talk about it, and help others better understand the process of dying, and death.
In the end, when we consciously let go of all the worldly attachments which we have learned to cherish, more than relationships, unconditional love, and peace in just ‘Being’… it all makes sense…. Death is just a cyclical process.
Woke up this morning, tired and drained.
Oh! My back, my hip,… can’t bear this pain!
Mindful way of living through the day.....
Woke up this morning feeling tired and drained (Check)
Back hurts (Check)
Hip hurts (Check)
Get out of the house.
Listen to the birds sing.
Feel the gentle breeze on your skin.
Dust off your sneakers, go for a walk.
See your neighbors? Greet and talk.
Day appears different.
Feeling tired and drained (Check)
Back hurts (Check)
Hip hurts (Check)
Burn… burn… sexy thing… I feel like sweet 16!
SIMPLE THINGS WE CAN DO TO MAKE 'LIVING' FUN.
This morning hanging out in my backyard, connecting to the world, which we often forget exists, as we are so busy living 'inside' a world we have created. My 'Zen' mind was interrupted by someone I know, who in the physical world has control issues, and difficulties of 'letting go'. Instantly my energy field changed and I put up a protection shield. In those few seconds, I lost the wonderful energy
exchange I was receiving from the Universe. Instead of letting this individual take away from me, I focused on her, and started sending her love using Reiki energy. Immediately a little child appeared .... carefree, innocent, and playful. We both played on the swing (which was built for my children), and yes we giggled, and let the wind blow our hair.... singing "The world is beautiful, if you let it be!"
If you have someone in your life who takes away your 'Zen', send them LOVE, until you see them smiling back to you. It is simple, if you BELIEVE ....
Caroline Fernandes is a certified hypnotherapist, holistic wellness life coach, Reiki master and an integrative psychotherapist. She specializes in energy psychology and conducts international workshops on integrating Eastern holistic healing methods in psychotherapy. She is a blogger and a published author contributor in ‘Spirituality and Human Psyche’. She is available for consultation on metaphysical, spiritual, dream analysis, & intuitive matters.