Recently a fine young teenager got our community together; he gave our hearts a chance to beat as one. Regrettably, it was after his heart stopped beating. Although, I regularly chat with spirits and understand their dynamics, as shown to me, I sometimes want to yell, scream and give God the ‘dirty’ look, and yes this week I did exactly that.
Deciding to argue with God I walked up to the pearly gates but refused to enter. My plan was to demand to put an end to all the craziness on earth. Then in a strange way I understood that being in spirit is peaceful, however being human is challenging. Especially being a human in this age and time where we all are constantly busy doing, achieving, and moving towards goals we create. While forgetting where we come from. Moreover, we also forget the reasons why we had the goals set in the first place.
Realizing this, today I decided to scratch off my ‘to do list’ and lingered longer in bed, cuddled with my family which included Dewey our family pet. Additionally, for a few hours I shut down the Wi-Fi and the TV so that we heard only our voices instead of the background noise, sharing our warmth and love.
Then I heard it… “Dear God, may I please have another chance? Startled I looked around. …. the voices got stronger and louder … there were people around me and I realized they were all praying. If you are like me who sees both the sides, the dearly departed and the ones alive, you may begin to wonder why the heck we are not given another chance when needed. For a moment I got caught up in this thought but I was instantly ‘shown’ how often I was given ‘another’ chance, which led to ‘another’ and ‘another’ and ‘another’. Throwing my hands up in the air I joined the rest in prayers, “I get it, thanks for all those chances … but for now can I please have another? I’m afraid I may have wasted the last one.” And so I was given, yet ‘another’ chance.
It amazes me how often we get ‘another’ chances and how seldom we make it right. Therefore, I’ve decided to stop wasting my time getting caught up in someone else’s ‘chances’ and focus on mine. Recognizing, if I don’t keep a track on what is mine this whole thing can get overwhelming and confusing, so I'm willing to make a change. I guess being human has its drawbacks, I can’t comprehend this whole thing called ‘life’. What do I do with this ‘another’ chance I’ve been given? I’m gonna work on harmonizing my family’s heart to beat as one… to feel loved, cared and safe in this beautiful thing, which I’m trying to comprehend, called ‘life’. Hoping that when the time comes I find peace… at least I'll know I tried.
As for the teenager who got me thinking….. Thank you, you’ve made your point.
Caroline Fernandes is a holistic integrative psychotherapist & a wellness life coach.